Beware of Blank Cartridges
by FeeptheNinja
Summary: I really should never have played that thrice-damned game. But curiosity killed the blaze cat, after all...
1. Chapter 1

((THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ANNOY ME CONSTANTLY TO WRITE A FULL STORY

HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN TO SATORI

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH))

* * *

I don't really know why I'm doing this.

I guess I really have been spending too much time on the internet. Is this really what humans find acceptable forms of entertainment? Reading tales like this?

Then I'll give you one piece of advice; beware of blank cartridges.

* * *

It was about a couple of months ago that this whole fiasco started. You see at some point earlier, Miss Houraisan had (somewhat regrettably) managed to hook me on a series of video games from the Outside, Pocket Monsters. I admit it wasn't exactly a difficult match, though; the game was certainly relative to my interests. It was fun, too, and I whiled away many an hour with it while Rin and Utusho were out at their respective duties.

One day, though, I found a package at my door.

It hadn't any return address, and I hadn't heard anyone come by to drop it off; nary a thought had come into my range of hearing. I asked Hoshiguma whether she'd seen anyone, and both her answers were no; this, paired with the elegant script my name and address had been written in, immediately turned my thoughts to that of Yakumo. And how couldn't they? A package with no sender, or at least an invisible one?

However, what I found when I opened it, turned my thought quicker to my newfound Lunarian acquaintance.

A translucent pink game cartridge, fit for a Gameboy, with a blank green sticker on the front of it. I certainly found it odd, but it didn't look particularly out of the ordinary, I thought. So I popped it into the bottom of my DS Lite (coral pink in color—Kaguya really did look proud of herself when she presented it to me) and switched it on.

A blank title screen is what showed, with pink flame curling up from the bottom of the screen. Rather reminiscent of FireRed. I wondered why the colors had changed, briefly, before pressing the A button and continuing on with my mini-investigation.

I'm not entirely sure it is possible to describe my sheer surprise when in the midst of the professor's explanation, a very small version of _Reimu_ popped out of the Pokeball in the old man's hand, grinning with two talismans in each of her hands. Looking back at the decision I made right then, I most certainly regret it; because right then and there I assumed Kaguya had merely played around with this game on a whim, something to do in an afternoon, and posted me her results.

Shaking off my initial surprise, I continued through the beginning parts of the game, naming my character, as always, HITOMI—the pseudonym I usually used to publish my works aboveground, but I also found it fitting for my player characters, a projection of myself into something else entirely.

The game began in New Bark Town—it seemed to be mostly modeled off of the new Johto games, HeartGold and SoulSilver. The beginning seemed normal enough. My 'mother' still gave me a phone I never intended to use, 'Ethan' still found a way to chat with me with his now-small-Nitori, and my soon-to-be rival was still peering into the side window of the lab (and yes, he still kicked me out of his way). The only strange thing I could find in that beginning moment was that, inside Elm's Pokemon (or now, Boneka, I suppose that's what they were called) Lab, there was only one Pokeball sitting on the table, in the very center. After the obligatory sending me off to collect Mr. Boneka's Egg, I was allowed to thoroughly inspect the ball on the table, which sent me my second, but far lesser, surprise of the evening.

It was a 'Boneka' of my little sister, Koishi. A 'CKoishi', to be exact, and of course it didn't give me the option to refuse taking it (although there really was no way I wouldn't!). To say it was love at first sight was a bit of an understatement—I found it utterly adorable and even nicknamed it, an oddity for most of my Pokemon adventures. KOI-CHAN seemed to have a Quirky nature (neutral, as was expected), and strangely, the third eye on her sprite seemed to be open rather than closed (not that I was complaining). She also had some odd starting moves, certainly nothing I'd seen before in Pokemon… although I suppose this certainly wasn't Pokemon anymore. It was… something completely else.

The feature I loved most about this new acquirement of mine was that my little KOI-CHAN followed my character about everywhere. I know it sounds just like the walking mechanic in HeartGold and SoulSilver, but it was different, very different, almost more like the classic Yellow. Only KOI-CHAN ever would follow me, and from any position in my party—and when I turned about and clicked A on her, I would be presented with the option to talk to her, praise her, or scold her (not that I once ever brought myself to do the latter!). I found also that her nature seemed to change depending on what I did with her and what happened in the game— for example, her nature changed to Nervous when we went to that wildly swinging Bell Tower, and it wouldn't change back to a positive one until I'd managed to calm her down.

Of course, I can't forget to mention my rival, now, can I? He was still as rude and as obsessed with powerful Boneka as ever, and I might mention that as my starter was KOI-CHAN, he apparently got his hands on a CSatori! Of course, I couldn't possibly have thought that I would be the sole immunity to having a double of myself in this game, but it was still rather a shock. 'I' seemed to have no type resistance to my little KOI-CHAN, and neither did she seem to have a type _advantage_; it seemed to be a purely aesthetic choice. Nonetheless, I managed at least for the first few hours of the game to put it firmly out of my mind, named my rival HOUJUU as always, and focused on defeating the Gym Leaders one by one, who seemed to be the same as they always were. Falkner, Bugsy, Whitney, even Morty passed without incident, and this I chalk up to the enormous level gain required to initially evolve Boneka. Past that, every last one was a changeable 'stone' evolution; Attack version, Speed version, etc.

And so I was blissfully unaware of anything about to happen until I had progressed far enough through the game to decide, once and for all, that it was a harmless reboot, made for fun.

My rival, of course, approached me whilst storming out of the Olivine City gym, muttering something about how Jasmine should just let some DWriggle at the top of the lighthouse die if it wasn't strong enough to fight off its sickness by itself. By this point I was familiar enough with the sheer offensiveness of my rival to chuckle at the firefly joke rather than feel like, oh, wringing his neck (although I do confess the wish was still there, just a tad less strongly than usual. For some reason, a rival battle initiated, which I knew usually didn't occur there. I didn't think much of it.

When that TSatori flashed out of the Pokeball, I started thinking a little more of it.

I must have stared at the thing for 20 minutes before I could recall that I had to press A to go forward in battle. I'm sure I wasn't the only person who would be… dissatisfied, to say the least, with an 'evolution' of theirs—I recall seeing a few other Gensokyans rendered in-game as something rather strange and somewhat unnerving.

KOI-CHAN wasn't at the front of my party at the moment, as I had needed to let some other members of my party see some level gain, too! And seeing as she hardly had an advantage against it, I saw little reason to bring her out, until the blasted Technical started bringing down… well… everyone I tried to use against it. I had to admit, my rival's AI was a bit better than I strictly remembered it being (namely, using any old random move), and so decided to bring out KOI-CHAN and teach him a lesson in humility. But the instant my little partner saw the light of day, my rival's tactic suddenly changed again, with two little moves that, I suppose, was really the starting point of everything very wrong with this game.

-Rival's TSATORI used DESTINY BOND!-

-Rival's TSATORI used SELFDESTRUCT!-

I really only could stare at the screen as I saw the combo take place.

There was no Pokemon that could learn that combination of moves, at least legitimately—I guess that's why I didn't see it coming. But I could have sworn I saw it use three other moves against my other Boneka that most certainly weren't either of those moves.

But, it seemed to be a viable combination, despite the eerie, 'suicide-bomber' vibe it gave off. KOI-CHAN was my last Boneka at that point, and HITOMI blacked out, handing 711 'Bone-yen' to HOUJUU and running off to the Boneka Center.

As with all rival battles, this one was steadfastly recurring. I checked out the TSatori's type in my Artbook (Heart/Dark—thanks for asking, as if I wasn't worried enough by this evolution), trained a bit more, and headed back down to Olivine to try my hand at this encounter again. Unfortunately, KOI-CHAN was still the first in my party; I guess I forgot to switch her back a bit farther behind before I charged into battle once more.

-Rival's TSATORI used DESTINY BOND!-

What?

-Rival's TSATORI used SELFDESTRUCT!-

_Again?_

And for the second time in a row, my cute little partner fell prey to the same suicide bombing tactic.

I blinked at the screen a few times. That hardly made any sense from a tactical standpoint; the TSatori was, ostensibly, his most powerful Boneka. In fact, none of his others had evolved even once yet. The rest of his team was an easy mop-up from there. It made little sense from _any_ logical standpoint, actually.

Unless, for some reason, the Technical held some sort of grudge against KOI-CHAN.

But that was ridiculous, wasn't it?

I decided it was, at that point. It was just an unlucky series of events—obviously it was a programmed tactic that just happened to come up on KOI-CHAN twice in a row. It happened. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Until, of course, it happened again.

The next rival battle I had with him, KOI-CHAN was in the _fifth_ slot in my party, and his TSatori wasn't the first one out. So I switched around as usual, finding type advantages, and one of his Boneka was weak to KOI-CHAN's type, so I naturally switched her in.

-HOUJUU withdrew his Boneka!-

Hm?

-HOUJUU sent out TSATORI!-

… strange, but withdrawing Boneka isn't that uncommon, even for AI—

-Rival's TSATORI used DESTINY BOND!-

Oh—

-Rival's TSATORI used SELFDESTRUCT!-

Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me.

And as it went, my rival switched out his Boneka for the sole purpose of bombing poor KOI-CHAN not one turn after she was switched in. I simply could not believe it. In fact, having saved before the battle, I switched my game on and off, rearranged my party and re-entered battle. This time I switched KOI-CHAN in against a Boneka of his she was _weak_ against (I remember reassuring her it was just for a turn, just to see what my rival made of it), and the same damn thing happened. Switch in TSatori, Destiny Bond, Selfdestruct. Every single time KOI-CHAN came into battle, regardless of who or what she was facing, the TSatori came in.

Very, very simply put, it was beginning to piss me off.

I admit it fully, if this bundle of pixels on a screen had a grudge against mine, I was very quickly accumulating a grudge against _it. _I was very attached to KOI-CHAN. The walk-and-talk mechanic had worked wonders, and I really felt a bond with this little bit of code. We took a walk on the town after every defeat until she was confident of herself again; I'd take her out to Goldenrod and buy her some vending machine treats whenever we defeated a Gym Leader, no matter where we were currently on the map. I made it my goal that my cute little partner Boneka was as happy as she could possibly be all the time, and constantly being blown up seemed to not only be shaking me, but her as well—I constantly saw her displaying NERVOUS behavior before any one of the suddenly more numerous rival battles occurred, and it took an awful lot of encouragement from me before she would calm down… only to be taken down in the exact same manner by that thrice-damned Technical Satori. It just didn't come out for any of my other Boneka, and when we'd battled through all its reinforcements, it downed all my other Boneka one by one, almost effortlessly until I was forced to switch in KOI-CHAN. And color me surprised, it went the same way as always. It seemed the only strategy to beat my rival now was to voluntarily let KOI-CHAN faint first, so the Technical would be out of the way as well.

That didn't sit right with me, not by a _long_ shot.

I was done. I was so very, very done with this TSatori. I was going to defeat it with Boneka-inflicted damage and I was going to defeat it with KOI-CHAN, as goddesses were my witness.

So although it went against the moveset I was planning for my little pride and joy, I let her forget two mostly inconsequential moves and learn both Protect and a Faith-type move, the only type that seemed super-effective against both Heart and Dark types. I gave her a Quick Claw, buffed her levels a bit, and searched for my rival.

It wasn't a long search; in this game he seemed to be just about everywhere. I defeated his first Chibi and sent in KOI-CHAN.

I had her use a self-boosting move while the TSatori took the bait and switched into battle. Protect was next, deflecting the Destiny Bond move that would have otherwise sealed her fate; and finally a Quick Claw aided Faith-type move.

What I remember most clearly about the following events was the low, hate-filled growl that rose from my throat. In fact, it might have been the thing I was _most_ worried about, if not for what happened next.

"Don't you _dare _touch my _little sister_!"

And I swear as my third eye sees, the sprite of the TSatori _blanched. _

Its visible eye widened as my KOI-CHAN let out a cry that sounded just a little too distorted for my liking—and a red slash went across the entire screen, blossoming out until the entirety of the upper screen was the same dark red.

And then the game switched itself off.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat there for a good long while, staring apprehensively at my DS screen.

What, in the good name of the goddesses, had just happened?

It was late, at any rate. Combined with the distorted quality of the cry and recalling the glitchy misadventures I'd had in Blue, I chalked the recent events up to either a (rather disturbing, quite frankly) programming glitch, or just my exhaustion. I had at several points stayed up for nights on end playing one generation or another, and I'd certainly had some odd hallucinations before, although nothing quite like this. I was still steadfastly assured that this game wasn't… well, it certainly wasn't actively malicious at any rate. That was ridiculous. Anything odd about AI patterns was probably just Kaguya playing a prank on me.

I set the DS on my nightstand, laid down to ponder the strange happening, and immediately decided to sleep on the matter.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The next day, after some rest and some food (being a youkai, it certainly wasn't as urgent a matter as humans had, but regardless I'd somehow managed to go about three days without finding time for so much as a bite of sustenance), I settled back onto my bed and cautiously switched the game back on. I was rather surprised to find myself in the Boneka Center, and apparently I had defeated my rival at that point, as when I headed back to the spot a battle would have initiated, I found no one there. Odd, considering the game seemed to have crashed. Nonetheless, I was satisfied that KOI-CHAN and I had finally beaten the TSatori, strange sprite changes and screen-rending slashes aside, and I pulled up KOI's stats for a quick look.

QUIRKY nature again? She hadn't had that nature since the first hour I'd gotten her! I shrugged it off, it would be easy enough to get her back to the JOLLY nature I was accustomed to her having, after all. I went to her moveset and found… no trace of Protect or the Faith-type move she'd recently acquired. In their stead seemed to be her usual moves, save one stat-booster I usually saved for emergencies; in _its_ place? A grayed-out, ? type move called DEFENSE ORDER that only gave me the 'b-dmmp' sound when I tried to inspect it further.

Now _this _was a bit worrisome.

I spoke to KOI-CHAN immediately after seeing this new move, although I'm really not quite sure what I was thinking. It wasn't as if I could really ask her anything, only get a randomized action out of her, but this time…

-KOI-CHAN can protect you now!-

-KOI-CHAN looks proud of herself.-

-KOI-CHAN looks proud of her power.-

These were the messages that came up when I picked the talk option. Now I was even more worried. I needed to know what that move was, and fast. I headed off to the next route in the hopes of finding a test trainer.

Not one step before I passed through a trainer's line of sight, an on-screen message stopped my character.

-KOI-CHAN is holding something!-

-Take the item from KOI-CHAN?- [Y/N]

This wasn't an odd message in and of itself; it sometimes came up when you talked to your Pokemon in HeartGold and SoulSilver. If you took the item, you would usually get a Dress-Up prop. However, the message generally didn't show up without first prompting it with the talk option. But still, who was I to refuse a free item? The 'holding something' mechanic was just like Pickup in this game, seeing as the Fashion Case and Dress-Up game was nowhere to be found, and KOI-CHAN's friendship rating was so high by this point, she pretty routinely found TMs and Revives. Thinking my little partner had just found me a helpful item and wanted me to have a chance to put it safely away in my bag before battle, I clicked Y without a second thought. Her sprite hopped twice onscreen.

-KOI-CHAN handed it over happily!-

-HITOMI obtained the BLOODY HEART!-

… _what!?_

-HITOMI put the BLOODY HEART in the ITEMS pocket.-

_WHAT!?_

I practically dropped my DS right then and there, staring at the screen with, and I'm sure, an almost comical look of shock on my face. I fumbled for the button to open the bag, hoping to every goddess that I'd somehow misread the message presented to me.

I hadn't.

-A bloody heart clip, of the type generally worn by the Satori line.-

Well, at the very least it hadn't been an organ—but the discovery was still very much heart-stopping.

-KOI-CHAN wants to know what you think of her present!-

What did I _think _of it!? I was _horrified_. I pressed the Scold button without a second thought, the first and only time I ever used it in my adventure. A sad face appeared above KOI-CHAN's sprite, and I felt a little guilty at first, seeing it.

-KOI-CHAN just did what you asked her to…-

"I never asked you to do that!" I yelped, feeling a little accused. The onscreen sprite jumped back a little after I said that.

-KOI-CHAN feels bad that you yelled at it!-

-KOI-CHAN's NATURE changed from QUIRKY to TIMID.-

… huh? I looked a little closer at the message. Did KOI-CHAN just respond to my _words_? That couldn't be possible; this game was programmed on a Gameboy Advance cartridge. It couldn't possibly be making use of the DS's microphone.

It was about then that I got the feeling that Kaguya wasn't behind this one.

I silently shook my head, and continued onward into battle—or I tried to. KOI-CHAN's sprite remained an extra step behind mine, an empty space between our sprites that I didn't like. The trainer recognized me, walked up, said his pre-battle line and...

-KOI-CHAN doesn't want to battle!-

-KOI-CHAN wants you to apologize!-

This was quickly becoming less of a surprise and more of a dry discovery. I still had to find out what that move KOI had learned was, and I couldn't do that unless she battled for me. Even though I felt perfectly justified in scolding her for doing… _something _horrible to that TSatori, I took a deep breath, checked to make sure no one was watching me, and gave my heartfelt apologies to a video game screen.

A happy face appeared above KOI-CHAN's sprite, and she rushed forward and gently bumped me.

-KOI-CHAN looks overjoyed!-

-KOI-CHAN gave you an affectionate cuddle.-

The battle music finally started as normal, and I let out a relieved sigh. I felt somewhat better now that KOI-CHAN wasn't scared of me anymore. KOI-CHAN's cry before battle sounded more… determined, now, stronger than it was before.

I still couldn't pick DEFENSE ORDER on the Battle screen, which was a bit frustrating, but I continued with the fight anyway. It was more difficult than I thought it would be, and after a few turns, KOI-CHAN's health was already in the red. Sighing, I went to tap the Bag option, but accidentally entered Battle instead.

DEFENSE ORDER wasn't grayed out anymore.

I was a bit startled, but went to click on it anyway. That was the point of entering this battle in the first place, wasn't it? To find out what it did?

-KOI-CHAN needs your order!-

Another microphone command? I shook my head. This game was becoming rather involved. Nonetheless, and feeling a little silly about it, I gave the word to my Boneka.

-KOI-CHAN heard her Trainer's command!-

-KOI-CHAN used DEFENSE ORDER!-

I practically threw up on the bed when I saw what that move was.

It was the same move that had felled the TSatori; the same move that led to KOI-CHAN holding a bloody heart clip.

The battle ended there and then. The Boneka attacked fell down to the bottom of the screen; its Pokeball icon disappeared from the Trainer's roster. Immediately the trainer ran onto the screen.

-HEY! What do you think you're doing!?-

KOI-CHAN's cry sounded positively displeased.

-KOI-CHAN needs your order!-

What was she going to do!? Use it on the _trainer?! _I shook my head, frantically shouting "No!" into the microphone.

Her cry now sounded puzzled, but the attack stopped. I paid 2256 Boneyen to the 'victor', and his sprite ran away on the overworld.

-KOI-CHAN wants to know why you made her stop…-

"Because you were going to _kill him!_" I retorted to the screen.

-But you _told_ KOI-CHAN to use that attack.-

"I only wanted to know what it did!" I said. "I didn't want you to… to kill the other Boneka." I hated saying the word, but it was what happened. It was the only thing that _could_ have happened.

-… oh.-

-… KOI-CHAN's NATURE changed from TIMID to DEPRESSED.-

That certainly wasn't a nature found in any other Pokemon game; I was hardly surprised by this point, though. I tried to comfort her, saying I should have just stayed away from the move entirely, but it didn't look like she was any happier for it. I tried to forget the incident, and just play along with the game like it should be played. I made a conscious effort to keep KOI-CHAN'S health above red, as the game refused to let KOI-CHAN forget DEFENSE ORDER.

-KOI-CHAN can never forget how to do this…-

Is the message I continually got. I felt a little sick to my stomach each time I saw it, and eventually I just stopped trying to replace the move.

And for the first Elite Four fight, and most of the Kanto journey, everything was pretty much normal once more.


	3. Chapter 3

I always hated Lavender Town. It was downright depressing and the music rather scared me, so in most games that required it, I ran in with volume down, smashed through the tower, saved Mr. Fuji and never went back. I was surprised with this game, though. I recalled in HeartGold and SoulSilver, the Pokemon Tower was turned into a second Radio Tower; in this game, however, the Tower was still a grave-filled place of quiet respect and downright creepiness. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that it seemed to be entirely optional, however, and gladly walked right around the place. In fact, I got all the way to Cinnabar Island and defeated the resident gym leader before I decided there might be a reward at the top of it in lieu of Mr. Fuji. But I admit I had found some new courage in my two new teammates.

Inside the Boneka Mansion, I finally found the Boneka that represented my two little pets, Rin and Utsuho. I captured a Chibi of each and quickly made room for the newly dubbed ORIN and OKUU on my team, giving each of them an Exp. Share to help them level.

I went to exit the Boneka Center when I noticed that KOI-CHAN wasn't following me anymore. To my astonishment it was little OKUU walking around behind me instead. I went to my party screen and saw that KOI-CHAN's spot was one below OKUU's. After a bit of experimentation I found that while no other Boneka of mine would follow me, still, OKUU and ORIN could follow me if their spots were above KOI-CHAN's.

-KOI-CHAN doesn't mind sharing~-

The message appeared unbidden once again, but I hardly found it disconcerting now. I was merely glad that I had assembled my whole little family in my game world, and set back off for Lavender Town.

I would regret that decision post-haste.

I walked into the Tower after only a moment of hesitation, and climbed up to the second floor, where my rival stood in front of a gravestone.

A gravestone?

He wandered off for a moment, which gave me a chance to run up and inspect it before his sprite saw me.

-In memory of my partner, TSatori. RIP-

… oh no.

I didn't pull out of the way fast enough (or perhaps it was already a cutscene by then), and my rival approached me, and accused me of murdering his Boneka. This was not, I admit, an unfounded accusation, and was in fact very true, even if I didn't exactly mean to do it. Of course, a battle started, and what was his first Boneka but…

A Ghost-type TSatori.

I will spare the details of the sprite's appearance, but I will say it was very safe to assume that DEFENSE ORDER was a slashing attack.

Despite KOI-CHAN not being anywhere near the first Boneka in my party, she was of course the first Boneka sent out. And what ghost encounter would be complete without out-of-the-ordinary messages?

-TSATORI dragged KOI-CHAN out of its Pokeball!-

I was, by this point, very close to losing my nerve entirely. I had no doubt in my mind that the TSatori's plan was to do unto others, and there was no way I was going to let KOI-CHAN fall to her death, and especially not at the hands of the attack combo I was sure was coming. So of course I did something foolish enough to stun even Cirno with its sheer stupidity.

I ordered KOI-CHAN to use DEFENSE ORDER.

It was ungrayed even though she was at full health, and I was scared enough to turn to the accursed move even though I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that it would likely only aggravate our current problem.

KOI-CHAN's cry was just as terrified as I was.

-KOI-CHAN needs your order.-

No exclamation point, just a simple, dry statement. I opened my mouth and gave the order with a trembling voice.

-KOI-CHAN heard your command.-

-KOI-CHAN used DEFENSE

I didn't accidentally cut off the rest of the attack announcement while I was typing this. The announcement stopped right there, and that TSatori's mouth stretched into a grin while KOI's eyes widened in fear.

-Rival's TSATORI used ATTACK ORDER!-

And the screen went black again as my game involuntarily turned off.

I don't think I've ever said so many curses in five minutes as I did right then, and certainly not against Vespiquen.

With shaking hands I turned the game back on. I knew it wasn't going to be good, whatever happened. By this point, I knew 'game turns off by itself' was code for 'something horrible just happened and it was entirely your fault', and all I could do was hope the bad thing had happened to the TSatori.

I was in the Boneka Center, and KOI-CHAN was behind me.

I don't believe I've ever been so relieved in my life to see a sprite in a video game. I hurriedly turned around back to talk to her, pressed A and…

Nothing happened.

I clicked again, and again, and once more for good measure, but nothing happened, still. I noticed her overworld sprite was fading in and out, and only one conclusion came to mind. I quickly went to her stats screen in my party…

And what should face me but KOI-CHAN, looking none the worse for the wear… but her third eye was now closed.

Of course.

My cry of dismay was probably a bit louder than it should have been, knowing that the game had ears; but I couldn't help it. I had become so accustomed to being able to really talk to this representation of my sister… I didn't know it would hurt this much to see and know that this Koi-chan, too, wasn't going to acknowledge me anymore. I was still determined to beat this game, though; she could battle just fine, and she did occasionally respond to me, so I continued through the game, albeit with a heavy heart.

I didn't see my rival again for the entirety of the 'normal' parts of the game.


	4. Chapter 4

It was right before I was preparing to take on the Elite Four for the second time, about, that everything went straight to hell.

KOI-CHAN was missing. Entirely. Gone from my party and gone from my side. I was worried; no, I was terrified. Terrified that the TSatori's attack had succeeded, just with a delay; terrified that she'd wandered off somewhere and I wouldn't be able to find her.

-Just like your real sister, huh?-

An unbidden game message that I quickly dismissed; although it perturbed me slightly, I had to go find KOI-CHAN or I wouldn't have a chance of beating the E4. So I left the Victory Road and flew off to scour the areas I'd recently been, looking everywhere I could find for KOI-CHAN.

At some point, Mr. Fuji's Boneka House occurred to me. Wasn't that supposed to be the place where lost Boneka go? I made a pit stop at Lavender Town and checked the signs on the buildings.

-MYOUREN TEMPLE-

… what?

I reread the sign twice, each time more disbelievingly than the last. I had finally come to the conclusion that this game was hacked by someone with a sick sense of humor. I walked inside the building, and saw exactly what I would have expected to see, based on the sign outside.

A sprite of Byakuren, sitting on a chair in front of a table; Shou standing at the door; and Kogasa and Nue running about in a circle inside was what greeted me.

Wait, was that KOI-CHAN running with those two?

Indeed, my beloved partner's sprite faded into view, and I let out a relieved sigh, walking up to her and positioning myself in front of her so I could talk to her.

-KOI-CHAN doesn't want to come home!-

Say _what_.

-Underground's no fun. KOI-CHAN wants to stay with BYAKUREN!-

No. No, no, _no_! I stared at the screen for three minutes straight before pressing the B Button with a growl. "Stop playing this game, KOI-CHAN. C'mon, we have to go." This game could hear me, I knew it could, so I was going to calmly give KOI-CHAN the what-for, put her back in my party and—

-KOI-CHAN refused to come with you!-

That was it.

That was the snapping point, right there.

I was seeing red. So KOI-CHAN didn't like me anymore, was that it? She liked Byakuren better, did she? Oh no, she wouldn't. This was a game, and I was the once-champion and soon to be twice. No one was going to prevent me from getting my partner back if they knew what was good for them!

I went up to Byakuren and hit A, A, A. I didn't register any of the text she spouted at me, what mattered was the battle that would ensue, the battle I was going to win. I was going to curbstomp this damned AI and show this game, once and for all, exactly who was boss.

And it _was_ a curbstomp. Completely. I admit I might have been a little more incensed than I should have been, which is probably why I didn't flinch even a bit when given the option to attack Byakuren as she walked back onscreen to say her 'defeated' quote.

-H-Hey! What are you doing?-

Attack.

-S-Satori, stop!-

Attack.

-A-Aaaaah!-

ATTACK.

I hammered away at the button until my thumb hurt and Byakuren's sprite fell off the bottom of the screen.

The battle ended. No prize money was given to me, and I hardly registered the fact that Byakuren had called me Satori—not HITOMI, as I entered into the game and as the game should have known. In fact I hardly noticed anything Byakuren's overworld sprite was saying until she started backing away from me.

-S-Satori? Satori, are you okay?-

-GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!-

The latter text was colored pink; I could only assume it was coming from my character.

-_Satori! Satori, listen to me!_ –

-WHERE IS SHE!?-

The shout was accentuated with an intimidating shove. What was my character _doing_?

-… I-I'm calling Eirin…!-

Byakuren, Shou and Kogasa's sprites fled the room post-haste, with Nue only following after taking a moment to glare at my character.

KOI-CHAN was nowhere to be found.

I let out an angry cry at this; after that whole fiasco, she wasn't here anymore!? I waited around to see if a sprite flickered into view; none did. I stormed out of the 'Myouren Temple', angrier than ever. In fact, my character's sprite had an angry face above their head, as if she were some following Boneka being scolded.

Lavender Town wasn't outside anymore.

I blinked a few times, not believing my eyes. Instead of the town where dead Boneka were laid to rest, the front yard of the Myouren Temple presented itself to me and dared me to say anything about it.

I pulled up the map out of my inventory, gazing at it incredulously.

It would appear my character was no longer in Kanto.

It would appear my character was no longer in Johto, either.

In fact, it would appear my character was in a pretty well copy of _Gensokyo._

I was pretty much done with this game's twists and turns by now. I pulled up the save screen, checked it over. KOI-CHAN was of course still not in my party, but one thing caught my eye.

17 badges.

I grinned triumphantly. 17 badges. That proved it. That proved to me that this was nothing more than a hacker's idiotic trick, meant to frighten me and nothing more. Byakuren was a Gym Event. Obviously, if I was to find KOI-CHAN so I could finish this thrice-damned game (the fact that I could no longer finish it, as there wasn't any more Elite 4, never occurred to me), I had to defeat enough people, accumulate enough "badges", and I would find her. Yes, that had to be it, that had to be the mechanic. The post-battle cutscene was nothing but an implement to unnerve me, attacking Byakuren in the first place was just putting a Byakuren Boneka up against me and passing it off as the bona fide one, her cries of apprehension renamed, useless moves.

If I could have seen the grin that split my face as I pulled out OKUU to fly me off, I would have been sick to my stomach at the eerie reminiscence of a certain Boneka that refused to stay dead.

ORIN and OKUU's Natures quietly turned from JOLLY to TERRIFIED.


	5. Chapter 5

Now, where else did Koishi spend her time?

It bothered me exactly none at this point that I had stopped referring to my Boneka, in my mind, as KOI-CHAN. She was acting as much like Koishi as Koishi did, so I removed the worded barrier between them and thought nothing more of it.

Where else…

I recalled her telling me, once or twice, about the Human Village's schoolhouse. I didn't quite remember the whole story at that point (I don't think I could have dug it out of my fogged-up head at that moment in time either), so I just selected Human Village's Fly point and pressed A. The short animation played, and I was dropped off in the center of the village. No Boneka Center was in sight, but I supposed that Boneka Centers didn't exactly exist in Gensokyo.

I wandered around a bit for awhile, silently cursing the overworld nature of the Town Map and the circular paths this village seemed to be full of, until I finally ran across the schoolhouse. I'm not entirely sure what I could have expected to find in there; it was the dead of night in-game. What, did I think the hakutaku slept in the schoolhouse? The thought didn't occur to me then, though, so I stormed up to the door with full intention to find Keine inside.

-OKUU doesn't think you should do this!-

I disregarded my Boneka's misgivings completely, clicking the B button with an annoyed expression every time a message like that showed up; they must have appeared at least fifteen times before OKUU finally let my character walk into the schoolhouse. Keine's overworld sprite was at the desk in front of the empty classroom, and as I walked in, the trainer's "!" popped up over her head.

-Oh? Satori? What are you doing in here so late? In fact, what are you doing in here at all?-

The question was probably posed in a curious manner; the only way I could interpret it at this point was in an accusatory one.

-Looking for my sister. Where is she.-

-Your sister? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I haven't seen her recently—

"_Liar_."

-E-Excuse me?-

The last line I remember I spoke aloud at the same time the pink text appeared onscreen. With no small amount of satisfaction I watched my sprite walk across the room towards Keine; I remember seeing her sprite back up slowly, slowly, slowly.

-I-I'm sorry, Satori, I-I really haven't—

-Liar, liar, _filthy liar!_-

And a battle initiated again. Just one Boneka. A level 70 Keine. The sprite's face was white and its eyes were wide with fear.

It really was an easy battle. OKUU's attacks were Fire; Keine Boneka were Steel-type. It took maybe four turns at most, what with the apparently sky-high Special Defense the thing had.

-STOP! SATORI!-

-Please, _stop!_-

-I don't know where your sister is! Stop, please, please, oh please—

-It hurts! You're hurting me! Satori, _STOP!_-

All of the messages, I ignored completely. My goal was to defeat Keine and get another "badge". I still had six to go after this, and I really wanted to get going. I missed Koishi more than I thought I did.

The battle ended quickly; no prize money was given, as usual. Keine's overworld sprite fled the room as did Byakuren and her posse's, and if my mind registered the red splatter on the wall and floor around where the sprite had been standing, it didn't care. I just didn't care.

-6 more to go~-

The text was uncolored. It was a game message, not my character talking to the wall as would be fit for my current mental state.

I didn't need the game egging me on to get me to complete my task.

-Open the door!-

What was this?

-Satori-sama! Satori-sama, open the door!-

OKUU's overworld sprite had the unhappy face above it, even though she was at very close to full health.

I pressed B again, more than fed up with these time-consuming messages. Why didn't this stupid game make up its mind on what it wanted me to do?

-Satori-sama! Please, unlock the door!-

What door? The door to the classroom is unlocked, you birdbrain. I walked in through it.

-P-Please… please come out…-

I clicked B once more and walked out of the classroom, scouring my map for where to go next. The Human Village Fly point was blinking all of a sudden, so I called on OKUU to Fly me right back to… where I was.

There was a Boneka Mart in front of the Fly point now.

I walked in, figuring this was the reward for beating a "Gym", now. Being able to buy medicine for the next fight. It made sense, certainly, I'd seen the same mechanic being used in other, fighting-type games, so I of course thought nothing of it.

My rival's sprite was sitting in the Mystery Gift Postman's spot.

-Oh, there you are.-

-You get it now, don't you?-

I didn't get it, actually. I thought I did, this cursed game thought I did, but I really didn't.

-Here. You can use this better than I can, now.-

-TSatori joined the party!-

And as mixed-up as I was at the moment, _that _just didn't fly.

I'm not entirely sure how the game managed to interpret the jumbled collection of infuriated words I threw at it.

-Oh, don't you get it?-

-Oh well.-

-You certainly will now.-

-Goodbye, Satori. Sweet dreams.-

And the sprite of my Rival casually strolled out the door.

Unable to do much of anything else, I pulled up the thing's stats screen. Might as well inspect the damage.

The only two moves it knew were Destiny Bond and Selfdestruct.

I saw the sprite wince at the yell I gave. I went through my backpack's TM pocket, went through all the discs Koishi had found for me back when this game still made sense and back when this game was _fun_ and not some drag-me-through-the-mud-chase for a bundle of colored pixels and binary code I could no longer distinguish from my sister. Picking any old four TMs that TSatori could possibly learn, I slapped them on it in quick succession, deleting both of the moves required for that godforsaken combo and shoving it into the back of my party. With no cash to my name and no need in my mind to buy any more Potions, I stormed out the door and had OKUU Fly me to the spot on my map marked SCARLET DEVIL MANSION.

And the gatekeeper wasn't even _outside_.

Every message OKUU brought up now, I disregarded without even reading it. I didn't care and couldn't care. Walking through the gates and front door of the mansion, I wandered through the hallways until I found stairs leading downwards.

This time, though, I was stopped from continuing not by my own Boneka, but by Izayoi.

-Satori!? What are you doing here!?-

My character didn't even deign to explain herself before shoving the human aside, and I cheered her on for it.

In the basement I made a beeline to the young Scarlet's bedroom, and it was perhaps the only fight in this Gensokyo section of the game that I was expecting to be straightforward. But no. She stepped back from me, her sprite shivered.

-M-Miss K-Koishi's onee-chan?-

-W-Why are you l-looking at me like t-that?-

-M-Miss…?-

Level 85 Flandre. Dark/Fire. Steel Wing should make short work of it, I thought.

-TSATORI stepped into battle!-

… I didn't put you in front.

Under any other circumstance, I would have refused to fight with it. But I couldn't think straight anymore, and decided I'd get it fainted by this Flandre-type and let OKUU take over once this Technical learned its lesson.

I picked Dark Pulse on the battle screen.

-TSATORI used DESTINY BOND!-

It didn't _know_ Destiny Bond.

-M-Miss Satori! What—What are you _doing!?_-

-TSATORI used SELFDESTRUCT!-

-M-MISS SATORI!-

It didn't _know _Selfdestruct.

The battle ended.

My only prize was seeing the haze of red in the room and on the walls, and Flandre's sprite facedown in the corner.

-OPEN THE DOOR!-

There was no door to open.

-SATORI-SAMA! OPEN YOUR DOOR!-

I wasn't in Chireden. I was aboveground. This OKUU was acting like a birdbrain again.

-SATORI-SAMA!-

-Ufufufu~ She can't hear you, child~! She's sleeping~ Now, be a good girl and let her rest…~-

-_SATORI-SAMA!_-

Shut up. I have badges to win.


	6. Chapter 6

After the Scarlet Devil Mansion, I decided the next best spot to earn a badge would be the Sunflower Field. Koishi spent far too much time there in my opinion; of course defeating Yuuka would earn me another score for my badge count. Fly worked in a building, although I didn't see it to be strange anymore. I picked out the field's Fly spot and ordered OKUU onwards, disregarding the pained cries coming from the speakers of my DS. It didn't worry me anymore.

I touched down in the flower field, momentarily dismayed that it was yet another maze. I was no longer being inconvenienced by wild Boneka encounters, but OKUU's messages just kept coming, and it was taking longer intervals of pressing B to get them off the screen and to allow me to move again. It was annoying me to the point where I was considering switching ORIN in first, or even that TSatori. It certainly seemed far more willing to aid me at this point.

It was a _long_ maze, too, boring and annoying. I considered asking OKUU to just burn the whole thing to the ground, but based on her current behavior she probably wouldn't be too receptive to that suggestion, so I let it lie and continued through the maze. Eventually though, I made it to the center of the field, where Yuuka's house stood. However, much to my annoyance when I approached the door, someone other than Yuuka burst out of it, pushing me back and standing steadfastly in my way.

-Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing around here!-

Oh, not that vengeful archmage.

-I've heard all about your midnight ride! Your sister isn't here, so you can take your pretty little incorporeal ass and leave!-

Two hops of the overworld sprite.

-And you can forget about getting in here! You're not getting anywhere near Yuu-chan!-

Ah, so _that _was it. I almost forgot about _that _particular issue of Aya's tabloid. So the spirit was protecting her mate, was she?

-I'd suggest you get out of my way. Unless you'd like something to happen to Marisa, too, along with your sweetheart?-

The threat came out of my own mouth a full ten seconds before it appeared onscreen.

-W-What?! Did you just _threaten_ me!?-

-Better believe it, too. Now what'll it be. I hear humans are far more susceptible to many incurable diseases, such as _death,_ than youkai are~-

Had I been in my right mind, the lilting yet menacing tone of my voice would have sickened me. As it stood then, I grinned with unrestrained pleasure at seeing the tiny sprite's face whiten.

-Why you… you…!-

The battle started with a level 90 Mima, and it ended in two turns with a level 49 TSatori's gleeful grin.

No red on the overworld, but the sprite was certainly nowhere in sight. Satisfied, I entered the house without so much as a peep from OKUU. The house was eerily quiet and rather empty, but nonetheless I made my way quickly through the rooms, and finally happened across the one where Yuuka was now awake and standing in the center of the room. Probably awakened by my dialogue with Mima… or perhaps it was the scream. Had she screamed? I couldn't recall.

-Satori. What in goddesses' names are you doing.-

-Where's my sister?-

-You know I don't know where she is. Satori, look at yourself. Look at you!-

-Tell me where my sister is. Now.-

-Satori, what _is_ that clinging to your body?! Can you even hear me? Satori!-

-I said, tell me where she is. One more chance.-

-Mima, go alert Eirin.-

-OPEN THE DOOR!-

-SHUT UP!-

It was another easy battle, two turns, but my head was reeling during it. Oh, I had a headache for the ages, and the awful battle music and the sounds playing over it weren't helping it in the slightest. I got no prize money, and the room in the overworld was absolutely coated with red—but Yuuka was still standing in the middle of it looking mostly none the worse for wear.

-Satori… what _happened_ to you…?-

My character's sprite turned to face me, and the glaring grin of a TSatori stared back at me.

-Goodness~ What a pretty face~!-

The Trainer card sprite was the TSatori's sprite.

-To think, your weakness was only your sister~! So easy to possess, so _easy_~!-

I was a TSatori. I am a TSatori? I stared dumbly at the sprite, rather unable to react.

-Now, why don't we go make good on that threat against Marisa~?-

I wanted desperately to press B, but my thumb seemed to be stuck on A.

-Ehehe~ Great~!-

And a moment before it could step out of the room, Koishi finally stepped in.

-Onee-chan?-

-Oh?-

-Onee-chan, what are you doing?-

That was Koishi. That was my little sister standing right in front of this… this… this _monster_. It wasn't me in this game anymore.

-Oh, nothing, sweetie~-

-Onee-chan…?-

-Come here, honey~ Let me give you a hug~-

I stared at the text. No. No no no she wasn't going to do that! She couldn't do that! I opened my mouth to shout to the screen, to warn Koishi, to tell her to get the hell away, to tell her that—

-That's not you.-

… huh?

-You're not onee-chan.-

She could tell…?

-Where did you take my onee-chan!?-

At the same time this dialogue was taking place, other text was appearing onscreen, on the defunct, black lower screen. It was whitish-gray—some of it was anyway. Some was red and some was orange.

-Satori! Satori Komeiji! Open this door!-

-Satori-sama! Please, unlock your door, please, please!-

-Satori! SATORI!-

-Y-Yagokoro-san, she's not—

-Utsuho, please break down this door.-

-B-But—

-Your mistress is unresponsive and this door is locked. Please break it down.-

On the upper screen, the TSatori sprite was slowly approaching Koishi.

-What's that you said, child? You know what happened?-

-Give back onee-chan. She's not yours.-

-Would you like to repeat that?-

-She's. Not. Yours.-

-Dear, why don't you give me a hug.-

I saw the sprite step forward, Koishi step back, and I finally recalled how to move my own hands.

"Don't. You. DARE!"

Both sprites looked up, a "!" appearing above the TSatori's head.

-No! Don't! You listen to _me_, Komeiji—

"Don't you DARE!" I repeated, louder. "TOUCH! MY! LITTLE! SISTER!"

And three events happened simultaneously.

I ripped the game out of the bottom of the system and threw it at the wall-

The door to my room broke open and Utsuho, Rin and Eirin ran in-

And Koishi was somehow at the foot of my bed.

I stared at all four of them for a good number of minutes, every last one of their questioning and concerned words failing to register at all in my ears or in my mind, my headache absolutely worse than ever with all three of my eyes and my stomach deciding unanimously to join in with this aching deal, and barely noticing that my hands were coated in blood before my brain decided to stop dealing with all this sudden and disconcerting stimulus and had me, rather ungracefully, pass out cold on the bed.


	7. Epilogue

"… miraculously, you're completely free of eye damage." Eirin said shortly, putting away her small eyelight. _{Three weeks straight on a video game. I thought you were smarter than that.} _"Three weeks—"

"I know, I know." I interrupted hurriedly. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Honestly, I would have expected that from Kaguya-sama, but not you."

"Uuu…" I ducked my head, resigning myself to the scolding. Of course, a story about being possessed by a video game didn't quite go over well with Yagokoro—it _certainly_ went over with Aya (and I certainly now regret telling her about it in the first place), Kaguya was at once enraptured with the story and swearing she had nothing to do with it, and Reimu and Marisa still felt it was their place to snap at me about it whether it was entirely my fault or not. I still hadn't gotten the courage to go back to Byakuren, Keine, or the Scarlet's residences and apologize; from what I hear from Koishi, 75% of the parties mentioned forgive me anyway, and I think I would react much as Remilia did had our roles been reversed.

Koishi comes home a bit more regularly to check on me now, and as embarrassing as it is, the unanimous decision from the rest of the family was to remove the lock on my door entirely.

I searched my entire room, but I couldn't find the cartridge anywhere. Not that I ever wanted to see the thing again, but it would have been satisfying to put it under a hammer's head, multiple times, and perhaps throw the broken shards into the garbage disposal myself. Rin mentioned that she saw Koishi crushing something in her hand, something pink.

I never found another 'Boneka' game, at least not like that one—and the ones I did find I stayed far away from. I was done with Chibis and Technicals, done with all of it.

In fact, I think I might take a short break from Pokemon entirely.

Goddesses know I deserve it.

* * *

((This crappy creppypizza brought to you by a frustrated, exhausted, and slightly demented authoress. Annoy me to write again and I swear to all goddesses I WILL KILL YOU

But I have a oneshot that I'm meaning to type up today on paper right next to me right now

not sayin anything but there's a good chance for you Vocaloid fans to have something even stupider from me to read today))


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